Donna Carter

Trip – w/o 02/27/12

Donna Carter — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 16:03:56 +0000

Those of you that know me well already know this fact. Those of you that don’t – you’re gonna get to know lots of things about me through this blog. But the fact I want you to know today is that when I’m travelng I always take as much interstate as I can. Mainly because I love to drive fast, really fast. I have a rule – if you’re passing me, on an interstate, you’re a danger to yourselves and others!! Shhh. Don’t tell the police. Anyway . . . I left my home Thursday morning. It was a beautiful day in Middle TN. I had the sun roof open, the sixties on the radio and, as I likto say, I was fat, dumb and happy. I was headed to Prestonsburg KY. I did the first 30 miles on the interstate then asked that bitch on the GPS for a scenic route. She humbly, although with a tone in her voice, obliged. Y’all, I saw some beautiful stuff on that scenic route. First thing was a boiled peanut stand. You don’t find them on the side of I-40! I drove through quaint towns with beautiful old timey town squares. I drove through miles of beautiful federally protected forests. I saw large cattle ranches and old horse farms. Old, like money old, not falling-down old. Don’t get me wrong – I saw the pits of poverty too. Hard to believe folks have to live like that. But what caught my eye was several times I saw cemeteries in folk’s backyards. Seriously. In their backyards. I was somewhere in southeastern KY, I had already passed several of these “at home” graveyards, what I presumed to be familial,backyard cemeteries. Anyway I came along one and there was a man walking around this particular cemetery. Well, I’ve always been inquisitive (my sisters would say nosy) and my best friend in the whole wide world, Jackie, has taught me “you don’t know until you ask”. So. . . I turned my big ass around and went back. I met the nicest man, y’all. His name was William. That farm – wasn’t big by a lot of standards, but it was 40 acres. More land than I’ll ever own anyway. That land had been in his family for like 5 generations. All the men in the family had worked in the coal mines in the area too. All of them were buried in the backyard cemetery. I questioned him about the creepiness of it. He said no. He was comforted that so much of his kin were so close. Some of the headstones were newer, but with old dates. He and his son (who is a senior in high school) are re-doing the headstones so that people can read them better. Some of the earlier ones had been made of wood and had rotted. Some of them were marked by just a rock. I thought it very cool that this man and his son were going to do something so wonderful for their relatives. Both dead and alive. Then I put it back in the street. Still had to get to Prestonsburg to do a show. My point to all of this is . . . take a “scenic” tour every once in a while. You just never know what you might see, who you might meet. Plus – you could miss some awesome boiled peanuts.

In Review

Donna Carter — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:28:46 +0000

I was looking at that last post and I thought . . . bitch . . . bitch . . . bitch. Let me tell you what has been good in the first 43-days of 2012.

This aweswome website is up. And I love it. Don’t you? Hey – while you’re here – buy something!

I’ve performed comedy in some awesome places. Ft. Wayne, IN (don’t snicker(z)). It was a blast. Met new talent. Impressed by what they have up there. St. Joseph, MO. Beautiful theatre. Great lodging. For one whole day and night I was a ROCK STAR!! Charlotte Comedy Zone. My home club. Full circle, baby. pitiful open micer to emcee to feature to headliner. I can die a happy woman. Let’s not forget the Elks Club in Keokuk, IA. Not only did I get to meet a fellow Beta Sigma Phi Sorority Sister – I performed comedy for one of the most awesome families. The grandmother came up to me after the show and told me how much she appreciated me bringing laughter to her and her family. She told the story of her young (infant) grandson dying in a house fire just three weeks earlier. They needed a break and the comic relief. Note to other comics: You never know who’s in the audience and who NEEDS you. Remember . . . some of our work is holy. My son and daughter-in-law got jobs. They’re working. That’s a good thing. Occupy Biltmore Circle may be coming to an end. I might be sad about that. Shut up. My Dad had surgery. He is doing great. May get to go back home to VA today. He’s excited about that. So is my little sister. She has played host and nurse for the last 3 weeks. Bless everybody’s heart. I got to spend several days with Jackie – my best friend in the whole wide world – and believe me when I tell you – it was a LARGE time. So 2012 ain’t really been so bad. Let’s see what the next 43 days hold. Get back to me, will ya?

Let’s Review

Donna Carter — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 15:07:56 +0000

I assume most everyone will agree that the first 43 days of 2012 have sucked. I mean sucked big time. Puxatawney Phil don’t know shit. There is so much hot air from the GOP that global warming is accelerating at an alarming rate. Whitney Houston is dead. Cry me a river – but I will always love you. Whatever. Bobby!! The news media have talked about her interview with Barbara Walters – a lot. But they haven’t mentioned that chinese cluster-f**k interview she did with Oprah over about 3 days and had the whole world wondering WTF??!!?? Things that make you go hmmm…. IJS. Now let’s go to the GOP. Yawn-fest. I thought it was so funny when Donald Trump endorsed Mitt Romney. Initially I said that Trump endorsed Romney – but his hair endorsed Newt. Then I said Newt donated the hair for Santorum a sweater vest. FMR. That’s funny. But what’s funnier – at a show that very Friday & Saturday night I said Trump induced Romney. induced. That’s hysterical to me. And who dresses Santorum? His mom? If he is elected to anything one of his sweater vests should hand in the Smithsonian – next to Fonzie’s jacket. Don’t you know Bachman and Palin are in a back room somewhere giggling their asses off? They straighten up and step up with a comment every now and then – just so we know they’re still alive. Blah blah handicapped children. Blah blah abortion. Blah Blah same sex marriage. Blah. . . Blah . . . blah . . .And the Kardashians and the “Real” Housewives of wherever. Please! They ain’t the “real” anything. Kim and Khloe can both bite me. Today it was 18 degrees in the ‘boro. Last week it was 68 degrees. Al Gore, Puxatawney Phil and Jim Cantore need to lay down. Just lay-the-f**k-down. No one gets weather right anymore. It is global warming? El nin-something? I have no clue. And quite frankly don’t care. Just be warm in the summer, cold in the winter and “nice” them other two seasons. It ain’t that hard. OK. I reckon I’m done. We’ll see what the next 43 days bring. Oh way – tomorrow is my special day – Valentine’s Day. I hope cupid takes a big ol’ . . . . .

The State of The Union

Donna Carter — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:49:50 +0000

SOTU. Watched it a bit last night. That was a big-ass room of folks that I would like to buy for what they are worth and sell for what they think they’re worth. IJS. #buylowsellhigh

A new Date Donna Contest!

Donna Carter — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:09:25 +0000

New and improved. Before you had to answer really cheesy questions, I chose the winner and the prize was dinner. A new year and a new website I said “out with the old and in with the new!” Here’s the deal – you click on the Date Donna tab and do your thing!!

I have a panel of 3 judges. They are Mark Craycraft -TV producer, Scott Nordgren – comedy writer (best ever) and sometimes performer and Jason Mangrum – he’s my son and should have a say, dont’cha think? :)

Prizes will be awarded quarterly.

First quarter prize is an audience seat and backstage pass at the Indianapolis, IN taping of a comedy show for television.

Second quarter prize will be dinner cruise for two aboard the historical Louisville Belle steam boat.

See . . . Great prizes (btw you gotta get yourself there-I’m funny, not loaded!). Now get your creative juices flowing and write why you should get a date with me.

Ready . . . Set . . . Go!!!

Welcome to my new website!

Donna Carter — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:05:49 +0000

Welcome to my new website. I love it, don’t you? It’s been a long time coming. Thanks to Mark Craycraft for doing such an awesome job behind the scenes. And to think . . . I have had a crush on him for ten years and all I got was this website! !

Now that you are here, pull up a chair and look around. There are pics and my schedule of where I will be. There is an all new “Date Donna” contest. Look for the great prizes to the contest in my next blog.

Between my Facebook fan page, The Twitter and my blog here I should stay pretty busy and you should know everything (body) I’m doing! !

Happy New Year, y’all.